#108 Raffi Grinberg: The 14 Essential Skills You Didn’t Know You Needed

Written By Omaid Homayun

Today we're sitting down with Raffi Grinberg, author of "How to Be a Grownup: The 14 Essential Skills You Didn't Know You Needed Until Just Now." After walking away from Wharton's MBA program just two weeks before it started, Raffi challenged conventional wisdom and created a wildly popular college course teaching the life skills most schools never address. His journey from management consultant to educator offers a refreshing perspective on designing a meaningful life in a world that tries to program our decisions. In this enlightening conversation, we explore:

  • Why breaking free from "default programming" is essential for creating a life you won't regret

  • How to identify your unique "superpowers" and leverage them for greater career fulfillment

  • The critical transition from an achievement mindset to a contentment mindset without losing your ambition

  • Why making counterintuitive life choices—like moving next door to your best friends—can lead to deeper happiness than following the traditional script

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Show Notes (topics and time stamps)

[00:00] Introduction and welcome

[01:15] Raffi's parents and background as immigrants

[02:30] Valuable life advice from Raffi's mother about the three most important decisions in life

[03:45] Origins of the "Adulting 101" course at Boston College

[05:30] Student response to the course and feedback collection process

[07:15] The five stages of adult development psychology

[08:30] Transitioning from the "socialized mind" to the "self-authored mind"

[10:45] Hollow beliefs and Raffi's experience walking away from Wharton MBA

[12:20] The difficult conversation with his family about dropping out

[14:30] Raffi's "two-year MBA experiment" with entrepreneurship

[16:15] Learning to face rejection and the "winter of rejection" experience

[17:30] The achievement mindset vs. the contentment mindset

[19:00] Implementing gratitude as an active practice, not a passive state

[20:15] Critical thinking and Sturgeon's Law: "90% of everything is bullshit"

[22:00] The importance of skepticism vs. cynicism

[23:10] Communication skills and assertiveness vs. aggressiveness

[25:45] Raffi's career compass and identifying your unique superpowers

[28:20] Why most advice is bad advice

[30:40] The nationwide search for where to live and choosing Washington DC

[33:15]Living next door to best friends and making counterintuitive life choices

[35:00] Financial advice and investing for retirement

[37:30] Learning from financial mistakes: not getting a credit card early enough

[39:15] Perspectives on having children and the right reasons to become a parent

[41:45] What Raffi hopes his five children will say about him as a father in 20 years

[43:30] Parenting technique: responding to questions with "What do you think?"

[44:45] Book publishing experience and choosing Chronicle as a publisher

[46:30] Making your manager's life easier: career advice for success

[48:15] The cardboard cutout test for workplace decisions

[49:30] Book recommendations: "The Defining Decade," "Infidel," and "Humankind"

[53:00] Raffi's hypothetical Princeton commencement speech

[55:15] The mission behind the book and closing thoughts

Links & Resources Mentioned

Connect with Raffi Grinberg

Note: This episode explores themes of personal development, critical thinking, financial literacy, and intentional decision-making. Raffi's insights are drawn from his experience teaching "Adulting 101" at Boston College and his journey from management consultant to educator and author.

Omaid Homayun
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#107 Ximena Vengoechea: The Counterintuitive Secrets of Listening That Will Transform Your Relationships